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: My wife of five years and I have a wonderful marriage, and I am madly in love with her.This is completely independent from our sex life, which is satisfactory, if vanilla.That said, the information he’s keeping from her—that he was fired for failing a drug test—has negatively affected her financial security and is presumably something you yourself would want to know, were you in her situation.

I feel that because I will be going through this sickness, it wouldn’t be fair to involve a man that I’m just getting to know in all of this, but I would also hate to put this part of my life on hold for however long this goes on.

The desire by itself is perfectly understandable, and many people would be open-minded or even enthusiastic about the arrangement you’ve described.

But you ought to tell your wife and accept whatever fallout your revelation brings. : I am a 38-year-old single professional woman who was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer and will be starting chemo soon.

If you do tell her, and I’m inclined to think you should, bear in mind that their marriage has plenty of problems beside this one, and that whatever they decide to do, you should keep your distance.

If either of them attempts to take you into their confidence about something they should instead be telling one another, say exactly that: “Please tell your husband/wife this instead of me.

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